New Environments Are Hard

December 17th, 2009

Dream to reality. What a hard step and transition to make. It was a step that I was scared about moving to New Orleans, because after all, there is a reality line that I’m crossing, right? The step between “I love it so much I would love to move there” and the actual “Hey friends and family, I’m moving to this place I talked about all the time.”

Back in the spring, I had this inkling, this feeling, that New Orleans was the place for me. And it scared the living be-breejus out of me, but I let it sit with me. I kept on with my life and my adventures, but it sat with me.

And slowly, every place I looked there was New Orleans. A restaurant across from my hotel in Bangkok called New Orleans, the Tulane grad in Manila I met and became friends with. Scoring a 504 number with my magicjack. The list continues. It channeled me and I channeled her.

I can think of many B&B;’s and trips I’ve taken through the years when I met someone and when prompted why they moved to the place they did, San Juan de Sol, Nicaragua to Chugchillan, Ecuador - usually the response is something like, “I just came here and knew.”

I never thought that would happen to me. I mean I loved living in Los Angeles. Don’t think for a moment I didn’t. And if I were a millionaire maybe I would have stayed forever. Lived in Brentwood and sent my daughters (future me wishing) to Archer and continued my yoga practice at Power Yoga and hiked Temescal every day. But it wasn’t sustainable. I wanted to buy a house. I wanted to be in a place where I could get from point A to B without calling for god to give me grace and forgiveness as I crawled along the 10. I wanted the IDEAS of these things even if I didn’t think I could have them the moment I arrived.

I miss my friends in LA terribly. I know I’ve been gone for most of this year but seeing as how I was traveling it didn’t really sink in how permanent my move was. I miss my shortcuts. I miss knowing what place I can go and grab a quick and healthy dinner. I miss being able to exhale at the knowing.

It’s all new. It’s scary. I made my dream a reality and it’s still sweet and it’s still amazing but the part that’s really real is how nervous, apprehensive and emotional the whole journey is. I’m doing it. I’m living every day. I’m out there “getting at it.” But it’s not easy and it’s not always fun. But it’s life. A wild and wondrous life and if I have to howl at the new moon sometimes to get through the night to see the next day, then so be it.

Because new environments are hard. The outcome can be that much greater, but it’s the risk that stops many of us from following through. Know that it’s hard for everyone. You’re not alone. I’m not alone. It’s just like our parents told us, one foot in front of the other. One day to the next. And we keep going.

16 days in New Orleans and counting.

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